Updated: Aug 13
Remember playing tag as a kid and being 'it'?
A very wise person recently told me 'you don't have to be 'it' all the time'.
To be honest, I really did think motherhood was being 'it' constantly. That you didn't get time off or someone else having a turn at being 'it'. Seriously, how can a person actually be OK when they don't give themselves a break? Of course there are days where we literally have to be 'it' all day and that's OK.
I am certain that the anxiety I carry has pushed me into this corner because there have most definitely been times when I haven't allowed other people to have their turn.
My son is 12 and I still feel like this. I mean, of course he goes off to school and visits his friends but on the whole I feel like I'm 'it' and the buck stops with me, and I have to be here for him. That is what I have done his whole life so far.
Yes he has a Dad and yes his Dad is amazing and plays a full role in his life and parenting but still I thought I had to be 'it', and the mental load of that is overwhelming.
And so I think of you and whether this is affecting you as well.
Are you feeling the mental load of being 'it' for your kids twenty four hours a day, seven days a week? And are you OK? I really mean that - are you actually OK?
I was going to write a list of ways we can allievate this 'it' situation but to be honest I really can't because I am so heavily in this 'it' corner.
And so I would love to hear your experiences and ideas of how we can support our mental health by allowing others to be 'it' more than we are currently allowing.