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  • janinefoxphotography

You're it!

Updated: Aug 13, 2020

Remember playing tag as a kid and being 'it'?

A very wise person recently told me 'you don't have to be 'it' all the time'.

To be honest, I really did think motherhood was being 'it' constantly. That you didn't get time off or someone else having a turn at being 'it'. Seriously, how can a person actually be OK when they don't give themselves a break? Of course there are days where we literally have to be 'it' all day and that's OK.

I am certain that the anxiety I carry has pushed me into this corner because there have most definitely been times when I haven't allowed other people to have their turn.

My son is 12 and I still feel like this. I mean, of course he goes off to school and visits his friends but on the whole I feel like I'm 'it' and the buck stops with me, and I have to be here for him. That is what I have done his whole life so far.

Yes he has a Dad and yes his Dad is amazing and plays a full role in his life and parenting but still I thought I had to be 'it', and the mental load of that is overwhelming.

And so I think of you and whether this is affecting you as well.

Are you feeling the mental load of being 'it' for your kids twenty four hours a day, seven days a week? And are you OK? I really mean that - are you actually OK?

I was going to write a list of ways we can allievate this 'it' situation but to be honest I really can't because I am so heavily in this 'it' corner.

And so I would love to hear your experiences and ideas of how we can support our mental health by allowing others to be 'it' more than we are currently allowing.

67 views5 comments


Aug 15, 2020

@jen - You are welcome my friend. We carry a lot. So much. Love you xxx


Aug 15, 2020

@beccajeanphotography - I am the same. It's a lot but I love it. Some days I do feel like my bone marrow is being sucked out though!


Aug 15, 2020

So much truth in this post. Thank you for articulating what I've been carrying.


Aug 13, 2020

I totally know where you’re coming from! Yes, my husband is a great dad and helps out a lot but I still feel like I’m the main one. I put them to bed, make sure they have food, help with homework, etc. It’s a lot but I love it at the same time ❤️

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