Last year my son had one of those years at school.
You know the ones - where it is just not right.
I find it really hard to talk about teachers in a negative way because I used to be a teacher and I truly respect the hard job that teachers do.
I believe in teaching in a way that is kind, fun, respectful and calm.
Yes sometimes you need to be firm, but never scary.
Last year this did not happen for my child.
He found himself in a situation where he was scared, traumatised and his anxiety was so high that he did not want to go to school.
He was one of many who felt this way.
He would beg me to stay home.
Some days he didn't go. Some days it was just too hard.
I have a tear in my eye just writing this, remembering what it was like.
Our family life was difficult for the year as a result of this.
I felt like we were literally holding on to get him through the year.
I had meetings with the people in charge to explain how he was feeling and to try to support him.
Nothing happened. I kick myself now that I did not do more.
I am not a person to make a fuss, I don't jump up and down and demand change.
But I wish I had.
I wish I had stood up for my boy more than I felt capable of. I wish I had demanded something change because I kinda lost my child for a year.
He was crushed and in survival mode.
And so was I.
There were a few times during the year that I seriously considered home schooling him, and I kinda wish now that I had done that as well.
People said to me "it will grow his resilience" and "every child needs to have a crap year"
NO child should learn to grow resilience through trauma
Resilience should be grown through small mistakes and disappointments that are recoverable quickly.
Resilience should not be grown through being scared every day of the week.
You know what he learned - he learned to be small, stay quiet and not ask any questions.
My heart breaks that he had to go through this
Thankyou for reading this.
We are healing and writing this has really helped